


Trapped Dead

by lugubriousentity



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Camaraderie, Character Death, Death, Fear, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-02 20:57:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11517321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lugubriousentity/pseuds/lugubriousentity
Summary: When you are stuck in a situation that involves life and death, do you choose love, or do you choose to save yourself?





	1. Philautia

**Author's Note:**

> So hey. This is my first Haikyuu fic and I apologize for any grammatical errors. This is just a short fic but I hope you like it.

"The objective of this game is fairly simple. Only one of you can escape this building. All you have to do...is try to survive as much as you can. That's right, all of you has to kill."

Like a mantra, he repeated those words that came from that static voice, while trying to find a place to hide.

He intends to stay away from the others and just hide for who knows how long. If he's going to survive, he'll do it without having to stain his hands with blood.

"I know you're in here, Yamaguchi. Come out, I'm here," said a familiar voice.

"T-tsukki?"

"Yes, it's me."

Tadashi stood up from where he is hiding and walked up to his boyfriend. Compared to his scared features, Kei looked completely fine. His eyeglasses were broken, but other than that, he looked alright. He felt a wave of relief wash through him.

He traced his eyes towards Kei's hands, and there, he saw a glint of a metal.

"Tsukki, I'm scared."

"Don't be. I am here. You don't have to worry now."

"Tsukki, you're not going to kill me, right? Let's fight our way out here. Let's stay together. We'll both go out of here safe, right?"

"Of course I cannot kill you. You are my bestfriend, and to top it all, you are my boyfriend. I love you too much, I wouldn't be able to do it."

Tadashi turned his gaze towards Kei and met his eyes. The longer he stared, the more he realized that something was wrong. Those eyes are...missing something.

"That's what you thought I would say, right, Yamaguchi?"

And a loud cackle was heard throughout the room. Tadashi started to tremble as he looked at his boyfriend.

"T-tsukki... You're kidding, right?"

"Now is not the time for jokes, Yamaguchi Tadashi."

"B-but, I thought...you love me."

"Oh, of course I do. But listen," Kei gripped the knife in his hand tighter as he moved his face closer to Tadashi's, "In a cruel world where you have to choose between love and yourself..."

He plunged the knife into Tadashi's chest before continuing, "You always have to choose yourself."

A tear fell down from Tadashi's left eye before he fell down the floor. His Kei...his boyfriend had chosen to save himself rather than saving both of them.

And that's when he realized, a few seconds before he succumbs to his death, that Kei's eyes were indeed missing something.

Something like...

Humanity.


	2. Philia kai Phóbos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I can't afford losing my mind and leaving us to die here. As much as I wanted to curl up in a ball and just cry, I can't. Because you're here with me, Yuu. I can't lose you. Not here. Not now."

He felt his blood run cold and his knees go numb when he heard that static voice announce something too dreadful to even comprehend.

Kill each other? Bullshit. No person sane enough would think of it as a game. Or so he thought, because here they are, stuck in a building, destined to either kill or be killed. Never has it even occurred to him that he'll end up dirtying his hands for the sake of surviving.

But here he is, inside a building, together with his friends and some other unknown people, unsure whether he'll live to see another day or not. He started running towards the farthest room he could think of- away from everyone, away from harm. Thoughts of his friends never came, because his mind is too occupied with the thoughts of escaping.

Surviving.

Staining his hands with blood.

Even dying.

At crucial times like this, you have no choice but to be selfish, even just for once, just to save yourself.

His train of thoughts was interrupted when he saw something glinting on the wall a few feet away from him. He marched towards it, and by the time he found out what it was, his insides were curling and his heart was jumping, because right in front of him was an encased fire extinguisher.

And beside it was an ax.

Before he knew it, he was breaking the glass with his elbow, and when he finally grabbed a hold of his newfound weapon, he was smiling like a psychopath he never wanted to be.

Thoughts of running towards where everyone is and going on a rampage started occurring to him, replacing all his horrible thoughts about dying without putting up a fight.

"Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill."

His mind started chanting this one, single word over and over again.

He took a step towards where the main lobby is, but before his mind could even react, he was there on the floor. His knees were too wobbly to even take him to where everyone could be. He was too weak to even walk, and so, like a weakling he truly is, he started bawling his eyes out.

"I can't do it. I can't do it," he muttered to himself as he started crawling towards the room nearest to him.

And just like that, he gave up on his desire of living.

"Nishinoya!"

Yuu glanced up to where the voice came from.

"I've been looking for you."

Azumane Asahi.

"Thank God I found you. Thank God. Thank God," Asahi whispered to Yuu's ear as he dropped to the ground and hugged Yuu's small frame.

"Asahi-san..." Yuu mumbled as he laid his head on Asahi's shoulder.

Yuu felt Asahi's hug get tighter, making him feel at ease even just for a while.

"Let's hide inside that room. We'll have a huge chance of living if we stay away from them and stay hidden. Bring your ax," Asahi said, a little too fast.

If this was a normal day, Yuu would have laughed and joked about how Asahi sounded like Eminem and could make his own mixtape. But no, they're in the brink of death right now, so he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.

Yuu got shocked when he was suddenly lifted off the ground. He looked at the bigger male, and to his surprise, the latter's face was stone cold. Asahi easily carried Yuu to the stock room- all despite of the ax Yuu was holding. It was dark inside the room. Probably, the staff only turns the lights on if they're getting something from here.

Asahi carefully put the smaller male on the ground. Suddenly, Yuu felt a tinge of fear. Should he really trust the guy he's been admiring for so long?

He laughed at the thought.

Right. He gave up on living already. Why is he doubting now after seeing Asahi?

The room was filled with a deafening silence. Neither of them were trying to speak. Asahi, because he was being cautious of people that might be lurking outside; and Yuu, because he was busy squinting and scanning the room for this one particular object.

And he saw it.

Right there, on top of one of the drawers, was a pair of scissors, glinting faintly, as if telling him to walk towards it and hold it.

And so he did.

"Noya? Where are you going?" Asahi asked him, his voice barely audible.

Yuu didn't bother responding. All he was thinking was to take the small weapon, slit his wrist, and die before he gets brutally killed.

He smiled as he held the scissors up to his face, and he smiled wider as he brought the scissors near his left wrist.

This is it.

"I have lived a wonderful life," Yuu thought to himself as he closed his eyes, preparing for the pain he'll feel after drawing a deep line on his wrist.

"YUU!!!"

He heard Asahi's voice echo through the room as big, muscly arms stopped him from cutting.

"Asahi-san, let me go!"

"NO! What are you doing? I thought we'll go out of here together?!"

"You really think that's possible? Fine, both of us might survive from the others' killing by staying here, but eventually, one of us will still have to die in order for the other to survive! Don't you get it? This is basically hell!" Yuu started crying as he yelled, while desperately struggling to break free from Asahi's hold.

"YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS!!!" Asahi wasn't able to hold his tears any longer, and so, the two of them were a crying and yelling mess.

Yuu laughed when he heard what Asahi said. He was aware that he sounded like a psychopath, but hell, everyone knows this is what happens when you're in a situation that involves life and death.

"Better than this? You don't understand, Asahi-san. The cheerful and positive Nishinoya Yuu that you know is long gone! You know what exists? A Nishinoya Yuu who is really scared. Too scared to kill. Too scared to be killed. I'm going insane, okay?! I can't even really think straight. And right now, all I could think of is to kill myself before I let them have the satisfaction of killing me. Now let me go, Asahi-san!"

"Nishinoya, calm down!" Asahi suddenly yelled as he slapped Yuu across his right cheek.

Yuu's eyes widened in shock. He was pretty surprised that the kind Asahi had slapped him. But at the same time, he felt thankful, for his anxiety was replaced with an overwhelming shock.

"We are all scared, okay?! You are not the only one. I am scared, too. But I wanted... I wanted to stay calm for the sake of both of us. I can't afford losing my mind and leaving us to die here. As much as I wanted to curl up in a ball and just cry, I can't. Because you're here with me, Yuu. I can't lose you. Not here. Not now," Asahi told him as he took the scissors out of Yuu's hand and threw it away.

Asahi hugged Yuu's small figure tighter as they slowly dropped to the ground. He lifted Yuu and made him sit on his lap. Yuu, with eyes still wide with the shock of Asahi's sudden confession, rested his head on the bigger male's shoulder.

"I...I'm sorry, Asahi-san."

"You don't have to. Just promise me that you'll stay strong for us to get out of here."

Yuu nodded. He let his tears fall as he thought about how cowardly he acted.

That's right.

He can't afford to die here. Not until he has told Asahi about how he really feels about him.

Not until he has told Asahi how much he has been admiring him.

Not until he told Asahi how much he loves him.

Both of them continued sobbing on each other's shoulder. But it's fine. It's fine to be scared sometimes.

And then, a sudden decision came to Yuu's mind. He's going to confess to Asahi. Right here. Right now. He's scared that he might not be able to tell Asahi how he feels if he'd wait for the right moment any longer.

Well, he'll never have the right moment, will he?

"Asahi-san?"

"Hmm?"

"I...have something to tell you."

Yuu glanced up to stare at Asahi's face and traced his jawline with his eyes. He took a deep breath before proceeding.

"I've been meaning to tell you this since forever but I just can't find the right time to do it."

"What is it, Yuu?" Asahi asked, his eyes obviously anticipating for something good to come out of the smaller male's mouth.

"I lo-"

Yuu wasn't able to finish his sentence when a fountain of blood suddenly rose up.

It was from Asahi's nape.

"N-no... Asahi-san!" Yuu screamed as he watched the life drain out of Asahi's eyes.

He heard the sound of a metal hitting the ground, making him look up to see the demon who killed Asahi.

"CHIKARA!!!"

"Y-yuu... I didn't... I didn't mean-"

"Shut up! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't you ever tell me you didn't mean to do it!" Yuu yelled, crying harder than he ever did in his entire life.

"Yuu... I had to. I want to live. I had to kill," Chikara mumbled as tears started falling down his eyes, too.

"How could you... He's our teammate!"

Yuu kept on yelling while holding Asahi, blood still dripping from his nape and from his mouth.

He scanned the room for the ax he found a while ago, and thankfully, it was behind him.

"I...didn't even get to tell him how I feel," Yuu mumbled as he gently put Asahi down the floor.

"I'm sor-"

"DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING APOLOGIZE TO ME!" Yuu screamed as he got the ax and swung it towards Chikara's neck.

"That pathetic sorry of yours will never bring Asahi-san back, will it?" Yuu said as he kicked Chikara's now decapitated head away from him.

He continued swinging the ax at Chikara's headless body. He's too mad, his own mind could not even comprehend what he's doing right now.

When his subconscious mind felt satisfied with the mess that he created, he stopped and stared at the remains of his former teammate's body.

And that's when he snapped out of the darkness that swallowed him.

Realizing what he had just done, Yuu's whole body got weak and he flunked to the ground. He threw his lethal weapon away from him and hugged Asahi's lifeless body. His eyes were red from all the crying he has done, and it felt like tears won't go out of his eyes anymore. But he didn't care. He never made an effort to stiffle his sob. He had to cry to let everything out. His chest hurt so much, and it felt like his head is going to explode. But he paid no mind, and cried even more.

"Asahi-san... I thought we'll go out of here together? I stayed strong, right? You should, too. But...But you can't..." Yuu said, voice cracking at the end of his sentence.

He stared at the now lifeless eyes of Asahi, making his sobs grow louder.

"Don't leave me, Asahi-san! You're the reason why I wasn't able to kill myself, aren't you?! You're the reason why I'm alive right now, right?! I haven't even told you that I love you. I haven't confessed yet. I wanted to live a happy life with you. Please don't leave me, Asahi-san! Not yet," Yuu continued sobbing over his dead comrade.

And with that, Yuu's small spark of desire to live has vanished again.

"I got my courage from you, Asahi-san. You have ignited my little will to live. But now you're gone. And I don't know how I'm going to continue living like this. Without you. Without my source of strength."

Yuu picked the scissors up from where Asahi threw it. He'll do it for real now. There's no more Azumane Asahi to stop him. The same thought that came to him earlier came to him again.

"I'd rather kill myself than die before their hands."

Yuu plunged the sharp end of the scissors into his wrist. He gasped as a pain pierced through his hand.

"It hurts," Yuu thought as he continued slicing the crucial part of his wrist, where the vein is located.

Blood kept on splattering on the ground.

His vision was slowly becoming hazy.

He looked at Asahi.

He has always looked at Asahi. The latter might have never known, but Yuu has always had his eyes on him, and only him.

As his vision continued to fade, and his breathing hitched, he struggled to get his last words out of his mouth.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to be strong for us, Asahi-san."

And with his last breath, he smiled.

"I love you..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am new to AO3 and I am honestly clueless about how everything works here. Forgive me! ( TДT)


End file.
